Home Palestine Therrell Thomas Demands Recount in Palestine City Council Election
Therrell Thomas Demands Recount in Palestine City Council Election

Therrell Thomas Demands Recount in Palestine City Council Election

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PALESTINE, TX—Therrell Thomas, fresh off his loss to Palestine District 5 Councilmember Doug Smith, declared in a  late night interview with The Dogwood Tale that he knows that there was voting irregularities and has demanded a recount.

City Secretary Teresa Herrera verified that a recount will begin on Monday.

“I know for a fact I should have won,” Thomas said.  “You see, I had this all planned out on my road to victory and I know where things went wrong.  The city simply needs to look at each ballot and verify that the voter intended to vote for Doug Smith and not for me.”

Thomas explained that most of his voters were probably intoxicated when they voted and while meaning to vote for him, their vote could have been mistaken as a vote for Smith.

“When I began my campaign, I was sitting at my liquor store and it hit me.  I can make this happen,” Thomas, who only had 39 likes on his Facebook campaign page, explained.

“I gathered up bottles of liquor from the shelves of my store and traveled the city, visiting each meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous.  After inviting the attendees to have a drink and a snack and then some more drinks, I convinced each one to vote for me.  Smith had 109 votes, but I know, for a fact, that I got at least 150 people to fall off the wagon right into the polls.”

Thomas said a recount will show that voters, who must put an ‘X’ in the box by the name of their chosen candidate, will find that many may actually be outside the Smith box or not inside a box at all.

“Those votes belong to me because they couldn’t keep it between the lines,” Thomas declared,  “And any vote where it’s not between the boundaries of the box are mine!”

Thomas said his allegations are not without merit because he’s conducted a thorough investigation to make sure he was on solid ground before bringing the allegations forward.

“Despite those restraining orders, I returned to each one of those Alcoholics Anonymous meetings and those guys, who I’m sad to report are back at Step One in the program, tell me that they did vote and that their vote was cast for me, Therrell Thomas.”

The city secretary says the recount could take days as each vote will need to be examined to decide the true intent of the voter.

“Both candidates will be present to challenge ballots and a decision will be made by a citizen committee and their decision will be final,” Herrera said.

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Comment(36)

    1. I wish I hadn’t…I wasn’t aware that it was bogus going in. I find the (even when satirical) undermining of Alcoholics Anonymous to be tasteless and repugnant–it ranks right down there with blaming a rape victim, IMO. And thanks (not) for your unneeded advice–I certainly will not “waste my time” reading this in the future. Bob

  1. David I don’t always see the humor in some of the stories…But, in your case…Don’t read them!!!!…Problem solved!!!…Then you won’t be wasting your time…Your reading them for some reason!!!..IJS…

    1. Well, I appreciate that! I’ll keep that in mind for next time. When I said “total waste of time” I wasn’t talking about my time (because I don’t read it) but the time of whoever’s writing it. Happy Mother’s Day!

    2. Oh okie dokie…Thank you so much for the mother’s day!!!… Very kind of you!!!…and you do know, I’m messing with ya!!!…

    3. “I think it is crap an a total waste of time”…..but I am going to make plenty of comments and spend time on the thing anyway. Hahahahaaaaa…

    4. What exactly constitutes a total waste of time??!!??..Not a small or a tad of wasted time…but omg…a tee-total waste of time!!!…The shame of it all…So, upon writing this…Is it a total waste of my time or yours for reading this??!!??..Just a thought…

    5. I’m with your wife on this one…It’s amazing the hours folks spend on this thang!!!…Talkin’ bout waste of the time!!!!…It’s a great place to start rumors, spread gossip and worst of them all…The writing of the satire!!!!!…

    6. I would add this about not seeing the humor: satire doesn’t have to be funny. In fact some of the articles are intended to focus on the irony rather than the humor. The point is that you take a small rumor or issue and turn it into an outrageous story that only someone dumb would believe, but make a point at the same time. For example, take this article. Despite his best efforts of running newspaper ads every single day, being backed by the power brokers of this city and barely campaigning because he was christened by the elite to be on council, Therrell lost. He lost because times are changing in America. People want everyday people like Mayor Bob Herrington, Councilman Doug Smith and Councilwoman Vickey L. Chivers. People like this are everyday people. They’re not rich. They’re not powerful. They don’t abuse the power we’ve given them through our votes. My rant is over.

    7. Okay okay…point made…I was just being my smartass self…Humor is in the mind of the reader, whether intended or nots…Bob and I have already had this discussion!!!… About what is humorous or not…Good rant though my Buddy!!!…

  2. Most of the time ,I laugh at stuff on here, but I also know that poking fun at AA ,is not a Joke , Many people fights and Dies because of the Disease , Its not Laughing matter and many lives are torn apart , until you are a love goes though it ,I guess you can not know the pain it causes familys and anyone that loves a AA member….

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