Home Tag "Elkhart"

BREAKING: Police Seek Help in Solving Robbery at Local Palestine Store

PALESTINE, TX–The Palestine Police Department is seeking your help in locating a suspect in a robbery. The Gateway Travel Plaza at 2350 W. Oak St was robbed, at gun point, at 6:30 PM.  The suspect fled on foot and by tree and police believe the suspect may still be in the area. Police have released […]

Palestine’s Beijing Chinese Restaurant Closes After Chairman Mao Chicken Revealed to be Cat Feet

Donald Trump: Elkhart Lemur Example of Crime by Illegals

NEW YORK, NY–Donald Trump, GOP candidate for President, said today that the Lemur on a murder spree in Elkhart is undocumented and an example of the crime that illegal immigrants bring to the country. “I’m certain that this Lemur, or monkey, or whatever you want to call it is illegal,” Trump said.  “It’s Elkhart and […]

Anderson County Woman Rushes to be First to Post Car Wreck on Facebook

Authorities Search for Elkhart Lemur After Third Murder

ELKHART, TX–At least three people are dead from attacks by the, now famous, Lemur that has terrorized the City of Elkhart in recent weeks. Police have declined to name the victims, but according to Sheriff Greg Taylor, the Lemur is to be considered armed and dangerous. “We received the first call on Thursday evening followed by […]

Anderson County Woman Rushes to be First to Post Car Wreck on Facebook

Palestine City Manager: ‘Elkhart May Have Chemical Weapons’

PALESTINE, TX–”The City of Elkhart may have chemical weapons,” Palestine City Manager Wendy Ellis warned the Palestine City Council during the second emergency meeting of the week as she makes her case for a wall blocking Elkhart residences from entering the City of Palestine and suggests war with the smaller neighbor may be the only […]

Palestine’s Beijing Chinese Restaurant Closes After Chairman Mao Chicken Revealed to be Cat Feet

Palestine City Manager: ‘It’s Time to Secure Border with Elkhart’

“When Elkhart sends its people, they’re not sending their best.  They’re sending people that have lots of problems, and they’re bringing those problems with them.  They’re bringing outside influence, rapists and drug dealers.   Some, I assume are good people, but I haven’t met one yet.” PALESTINE, TX–Clad in camouflage and declaring herself in ‘Wendy […]

Palestine’s Beijing Chinese Restaurant Closes After Chairman Mao Chicken Revealed to be Cat Feet