Home Tag "Adam Harding"

BREAKING: Palestine Mayor Dyes Peacefully At Home

PALESTINE, TX–Palestine Mayor Bob Herrington dyed peacefully at home tonight. The three term mayor said he was tired of the constant ridicule and jokes about his hair from sources such as The Dogwood Tale, David Letterman, The Daily Show and others about his hair, but could not bring himself to actually get a haircut. “I […]

Palestine’s Beijing Chinese Restaurant Closes After Chairman Mao Chicken Revealed to be Cat Feet

Palestine City Manager: ‘It’s Time to Secure Border with Elkhart’

“When Elkhart sends its people, they’re not sending their best.  They’re sending people that have lots of problems, and they’re bringing those problems with them.  They’re bringing outside influence, rapists and drug dealers.   Some, I assume are good people, but I haven’t met one yet.” PALESTINE, TX–Clad in camouflage and declaring herself in ‘Wendy […]

Palestine’s Beijing Chinese Restaurant Closes After Chairman Mao Chicken Revealed to be Cat Feet

Palestine City Manager Announces ‘Walking Dead’ Plan for Zombie Apocalypse

PALESTINE, TX–The City of Palestine will be prepared in the event that the dead rise from their graves to feed on the living, according to an announcement by City Manager Wendy Ellis. “I had fired the former emergency management coordinator for not having a plan like this in place, and, if you want it done […]

Palestine’s Beijing Chinese Restaurant Closes After Chairman Mao Chicken Revealed to be Cat Feet

Palestine City Hall To Fly Confederate Flag To Thank Councilman For Keeping Wendy

PALESTINE, TX–Not wasting anytime to secure her job as Palestine city manager, Wendy Ellis is seizing a golden opportunity to court one councilman rumored to have struggled with his decision to fire the embattled city leader.  Her idea was inspired by the recent turmoil about the removal of the Confederate flag from government buildings and the […]

Palestine’s Beijing Chinese Restaurant Closes After Chairman Mao Chicken Revealed to be Cat Feet