Home Palestine Sims City: A Brand New Palestine
Sims City:  A Brand New Palestine

Sims City: A Brand New Palestine

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PALESTINE, TX—An unlikely hero has emerged in local Palestine politics, Michael Sims, a staunch Republican who is running for mayor because he wants to continue to live here but has said he will move if Steve Presley is elected mayor.

In a classic David versus Goliath story, the political upstart is slinging rocks at the twelve year incumbent councilman from District 6 who Sims thinks has ruined our city.  Sims briefly set aside his broom to make a few calls from the pay phone at Walmart, then went live on his FB video feed to announce he has secured deals with several popular restaurants including Ihop, Olive Garden, Popeye’s, Texas Roadhouse and The Cheesecake Factory among others.  “They told me no one has ever contacted them before and I found that surprising,” stated Sims, “Who knew what difference a simple call could make?”  Economic Development Director Tom Manskey commented, “The man is amazing, what can I say?”

Sims is kicking ass and making it look easy and he’s not done, he’s making sure every section of town has a grocery store.  HEB to the North Loop, Central Market in the Westwood area, Whole Foods Market to the South Loop and according to his statements, he has single-handedly convinced Kroger and Brookshires to both relocate in a soon to be constructed shared facility on the East Loop between Story Elementary and Highway 79.  Sims earnestly stated, “I’m beginning to make a difference, beginning to make sure our citizens are taken care of and have the choices they deserve, and my intentions are to do grocery shopping and home deliveries for those who cannot do it for themselves.”  He also said he is stocking up on umbrellas to make sure people are protected from the rain.

Sims revealed he is also negotiating with the doctors in Tyler to not buy out Palestine Regional Medical Center, but to instead just relocate all of the Tyler medical facilities to Palestine.  “Mayor Therrell Thomas said we were going to be the economic hub of East Texas and I’m gonna make that happen,” Sims boldly predicted. “If we want it to happen, then it shall happen, it’s no more difficult than moving a few pieces on a game board.”

Sims says he’s a fan of the Simcity computer game and that is where he gets his inspiration for city design.  The potential future mayor of Palestine then referenced a caption for the game, “WELCOME MAYOR! Build your own beautiful, bustling city where your citizens will thrive. The larger and more intricate your city gets, the more needs your citizens have, and it’s up to you to keep them happy.” Sims ardently declared, “And that is precisely what I plan to do!”

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Harold Press Harold Press is always searching for the next story. Just the facts ma'am, just the facts, or whatever you can make up!

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