PALESTINE, TX—The city’s most top secret anonymous sources are flapping their gums, their deep throats collectively growing scratchy and sore from repeatedly speaking in great detail about how former employees of the City of Palestine, those terminated for various well-documented reasons or who chose to resign and not face the consequences, are privately communicating with District 6 councilman, Steve Presley, who is running for mayor.
The sources told TDT that Presley has apparently established a toll free number, 1-800-BEG-4JOB, that he is using to gain info from the former employees in exchange for his promises of bringing them back to work at city hall once he successfully rids the local government operation of the honest and dedicated employees. “I’d scream from the mountaintop,” said one informant, “But no one would hear me because I can barely speak at this point.” He then deadpanned, “I can’t give you any more secrets until you give me some Sucrets.”
The shadowy anonymous sources have promised a “Wikileaks” style release of the names of those inovlved, but wouldn’t give a definitive date when that might happen. After gargling with a warm salt water solution, an anonymous shadowy female informant, obviously feeling some pain, placed her shadowy elegant hand against her shadowy deep throat and slowly massaged it as she whispered in shadowy tones, “We’ll see how long Presley continues his attempted dictatorial takeover of local government before we reach a final decision, but we are definitely watching his every move and we will act accordingly when the time is right.” Her raspy, whispery, yet hot and sexy shadowy voice coupled with her perfectly voluptuous shadowy figure resulted in some very dark and shadowy thoughts among TDT male staff as we watched her every sexy shadowy move, however, being the professionals we are you can rest assured we will continue lurking in the shadows and we will keep you updated as information becomes available.