PALESTINE–Chief Robert Herbert of the Palestine Police Department has announced plans for pursuing a “new direction” regarding the Citizens on Patrol program. Herbert praised the current and past participants but said he wants a” better public face” for the highly acclaimed organization. “We’ve got high profile community members like former county judge John McDonald, but in all honesty, he’s not much to look at. We live in a society obsessed with looks so that’s why I’ve come up with a new approach to help bring attention and much needed dollars to this group”.
The chief, certainly no stranger when it comes to relationships with women, then explained the concept, “We’ll retain the COP acronym, but instead of Citizens on Patrol the revised program is called Cuties on Patrol”. Herbert, displaying a big boyish grin as though sneaking a peek at his dad’s Playboy magazine, laid out his idea for the new marketing campaign, “It will feature several young, fully endowed females, seductively posed against a patrol unit, scantily clad in tight, very revealing shorts and tops”. Pausing briefly to wipe the sweat from his brow, the chief continued, “The tagline reads, Caution! Cuties on duty!”.
The progressive minded chief hopes to attract the town’s best looking females and envisions an annual Cuties on Patrol calendar which will be sold to raise money for the organization. “Obviously, the months of June, July and August will be reserved for our hottest cuties”, he said. However, not everyone is ready to embrace the chief or his new concept as several local ladies are quick to dismiss his efforts as nothing but “a juvenile attempt to cop a feel”.