PALESTINE, TX—A resident in council district one has apparently gone ballistic over a KLTV “Proud of East Texas” feature highlighting the local Dogwood blossoms because it contained an old eight second video image and audio comments from a city employee interviewed thirteen years ago, but who resigned from the city in 2016. TV stations routinely use archived footage in annual stories, but this local resident will have none of that!
“Well, who gave this despicable harlet the authority to speak on behalf of our beautiful town?” asked the resident who demanded anonymity while raising a public stink, “We need a full investigation and I’m sure this will put coucilman Will Brule’s bow tie into full spin mode!” she barked, “If not, I know how to twist his little propeller.”
The bitter, angry resident continued the tirade, “Oh the beauty of the magnificent Dogwoods is forever lost because that, that despicable employee’s face is associated with such a precious thing. Tourists will decide not to come, all is lost, our city will wither up and die and no one will eat our delicious pie nor experience my favorite fine dining spot. Oh why can’t our lowly residents be refined and exhibit exquisite tastes and proper manners like me? I’ve tried so hard to set such a good example.”
The resident turned and kicked her husband in the shin causing him to fall to the ground, “This is all your fault, you’re incorrigible,” she screamed as she stormed into the house and slammed the door. Meanwhile, her husband who was still on the ground simply pointed above his head to the blossoms and remarked, “Aren’t the Dogwoods lovely this time of year?”