Home Palestine Palestine Mayoral Candidate Michael Sims Takes Over Council Meeting and Declares Himself ‘Mayor’
Palestine Mayoral Candidate Michael Sims Takes Over Council Meeting and Declares Himself ‘Mayor’

Palestine Mayoral Candidate Michael Sims Takes Over Council Meeting and Declares Himself ‘Mayor’

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PALESTINE, TX—Saying that he was the only one that truly cared about the citizens of Palestine, mayoral candidate Michael Sims entered the Palestine City Council Chambers Friday night armed with a broom and forced Mayor Bob Herrington and other council members to leave the council desk before sitting down and declaring himself the new mayor.

“There’s no need for an election,” Sims explained to the audience and council members as he propped his broom against the council desk within easy reach.  “I am the only candidate for mayor that went out and checked on local residents during the rain, that has tried to reach out to the people on Facebook, that sweeps the floors at Wal-Mart so that the people can shop in a clean store.  There is no need to waste our time with an election, everyone knows I will win.”

When police approached Sims, he grabbed his broom and threatened to strike them before firing both officers.

“That’s not how you treat a mayor, you’re both fired,” Sims shouted at the confused officers.

“Where’s the checkbook,” Sims asked City Manager Mike Alexander who immediately left and returned moments later with what appeared to be the city’s checkbook.

“I think we should fix the water pipes, how much would that cost,” Sims asked Alexander who replied, “about $75 million.”

Sims wrote and signed a check for exactly $75 million, removed it from the checkbook and handed it to Public Works Director Tim Perry saying, “I made it out to cash so you can cash it easier.”

Perry immediately resigned and left with the check.

Sims has, thus far, passed 2,534 new city ordinances in what police are now calling a ‘hostage situation.’

The incident was still ongoing as of press time Sunday.

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Comment(9)

    1. A leak from insider sources states that one of the ordinances unilaterally passed by the usurping mayoral candidate will abolish all punctuation in city correspondence. Mayor Sims alleges that hundreds, perhaps thousands of pennies will be saved in ink and pixels and many minutes of unnecessary labor put to better use.

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