Home Palestine Notes From Palestine Herald-Press Reporter Discovered After High Winds
Notes From Palestine Herald-Press Reporter Discovered After High Winds

Notes From Palestine Herald-Press Reporter Discovered After High Winds

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PALESTINE, TX—As high winds blew through the city, top secret notes from a Palestine Herald-Press reporter ended up in the hands of a local resident who forwarded them to The Dogwood Tale.  According to the resident, Ima Teller, a big gust of wind caused the papers to fly from a folder being carried by the PHP reporter as he left city hall and his efforts to retrieve the notes were in vain.  The handwritten notes are on nine pages torn from a three-inch by five-inch spiral flipbook and were picked up some three blocks north of Palestine city hall.  We present them verbatim from the note pages.  For clarification purposes, M is mayor and CM is council member:

“As Palestine city of considers sales tax redirecting redirectment  May 6 ballot identified as prostitute one, local voters decide if they want one-eighth of quarter cent of several half cents used for street maintenance not property relief.”

“M Herrington:  I like sales tax,  sales tax  good thing except then it’s not.  Voter should embrace sales tax same manner they embrace mother,  maybe so much not that they would be so stupid.”

“CM  Smith:  Remember  Alamo!  If sales tax back then whenever braveless souls stood outside main building could afforded key to open fort door, but they parished needlessly for lack of nail.”

“CM  Jordan:  What is sales tax, let me count the ways people lack drainage and illegal dumping and my grandma tripped over pothole while fishing, all of this good, thank you.”

“CW  Chivers:  Palestine Herald Press can kiss my big black ass and from what I can tell the admins have the lips to do it.  Tell boss no print this.”

“CM Brule look for lost earring, no speak as bent over and poked eye out with cane.  No one notice blood.   I hate blood old man can bleed to death. He no Steve Presley”

“CM  Thompson no want to end up in pair of concrete boots at bottom Neches River. don’t have proper equipment to pull himself from long dark tunnel.”

“Mayor Steve Presley was ever so eloquent in his remarks,  As I’ve said since elementary school when I took over for the inept school principal and ran the whole operation during my six years there while collecting a small percentage of my fellow students’ lunch money to cover my administrative fee, it is important for us to invest in the future of Palestine and by doing so as the tax base expands then we will have the money to fix and maintain those things that are near and dear to all of us who love Palestine so deeply.  I think we can vote for this sales tax redirecting redirectment thingy because I can manipulate the property tax rate and appraisals so that no one is harmed financially especially those who are closest to me.   Incidentally, if you need anything else to make me look good, you’ve got my number.  Don’t forget TSRR doing great, even though I’m serving well beyond the statutory limitation for my board position, no issues with me in charge, use that cheesy smiling pic you have of me and let me know what I owe you.  Will update you later about my secret meetings with former employees,  just don’t tell anyone.    Our Palestine to love and cherish, Mayor Steve Presley, All-American boy.”

“Refer prior page:   Presley,  PHP CM forever land!  I love Steve!…..be sure tell bosses push Steve, run stories to save Steve money on campaign expenses, make others pay.  PHP voice for Steve,  Be sure thank Steve for breakfasts, seek more freebies”

 

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Harold Press Harold Press is always searching for the next story. Just the facts ma'am, just the facts, or whatever you can make up!

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