Home Palestine Palestine City Manager Uses Executive Order to Legalize Gay Marriage in City; Pay for Weddings with New Fee on Water Bill
Palestine City Manager Uses Executive Order to Legalize Gay Marriage in City; Pay for Weddings with New Fee on Water Bill

Palestine City Manager Uses Executive Order to Legalize Gay Marriage in City; Pay for Weddings with New Fee on Water Bill

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PALESTINE, TX—It was a dream come true for Randy Pinson, 22, and his partner James Wellington, 21, as they were married today in the council chambers of Palestine City Hall—which had been converted to a chapel for the ceremony—and it cost them nothing for the right to marry and the ceremony thanks to Palestine city manager Wendy Ellis.

“I have a pen and I used it,” Ellis said referring to her executive order authorizing the gay marriages.  “Look, I’m fully aware that there is a constitutional amendment prohibiting gay marriage, but I’ve watched on the news and all of those laws are being tossed out by the courts and I think this will be what finally puts Palestine on the map.  Besides, most citizens in this town are already taking it in the rear from city hall, so what do they care?”

Ellis expects a sharp increase in tourism from the new effort.  “We’ve always thought that inviting tourists through the front door was the way to go, but some prefer to come in through the backdoor and that’s what we’re doing with this new ordinance, ” Ellis explained.  “Water customers will see a new fee appear on their water bill in the coming months that will pay for the licensing of the marriages and for a one hour ceremony in council chambers, officiated by city judge Bill Curley.  A remodel of council chambers is planned so it’ll be more inviting for these types of ceremonies.  We are currently in the bidding process on that project.”

Ellis said that until the fee appears on water bills, the city will use funds from over charging water meters to pay for the marriages.

The Dogwood Tale contacted Mayor Therrell Thomas who only said that the idea was “nice.”

District 6 Councilman Steve Presley, an avid supporter of the Texas State Railroad, says that there are already plans for a new gay excursion ride in the coming months.

Applications for gay marriage licenses are increasing by the day, according to a city employee.

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Comment(51)

  1. Rumor has it that a new chapel will be opened soon to support this worthy effort. It will be underwritten through a sponsorship from Johnson and Johnson.

  2. I’m not sure who originally created this post but don’t they have better things to do than rip on the city once again and send out false reports? This will cause an uproar if some people do not read it in its entirety. The water co will be getting calls all day and did they have Wendy Ellis’s permission to put words in her mouth? One could say it’s a parody or one could say it’s libel..

    1. I’m very well aware of what the word satire means; thank you. I also, do have a life and I am also aware that your little satire for the day caused undue stress on employees of the water company. Like I stated earlier people will not read it in its entirety and jump the gun. Thanks for making the employees of the water company have a crazy day. You know not Ellis the poor people who just answer the phone and collect water bill pymts.

    2. It’s basically just hatred being spewed under the guise of satire; in this instance. I was simply pointing out the obvious and wondering why someone would want to provoke others in a blatant hateful disrespecting manner all in the name of “fun”? And you tell me to get a life, I regress. Feel free under your first amendment right to be as hateful as you want to be, provoke all you want, destroy at your will, but remember this: the pen is mightier than the sword.

    3. For the greater good of mankind-no. For detriment and destruction-sure. My point was to use your pen wisely. If you feel this is your best than that’s all that can be asked of you. I just think if you have time to write such eloquent satires than you should use that time energy and skill to better the world as opposed to tearing it down. Work on repealing Obama care, that’s a blessing would could all use and your talents wouldn’t be appreciated on that matter.

  3. I am being forced to pay for gay marriages??? Why do homos get a free ride on everyone elses wallet and the heteros have to pay their own way as well as the homos way??? It’s time to impeach and criminally charge & prosecute to the fullest extent of the law EVERYONE involved in this fraud & theft!!!

  4. She thinks she is Obama, I have a pen! I have a pen also, and it’s to get a recall vote and send her packing. Put petitions in every corner of this county. Did you notice how they are covering the cost, now? From over charging customers on their water bills instead of giving them credit for the over payment. That’s interfering with my religious beliefs. I’ve had enough of these arrogant idiots that think they can do as they please.

  5. I certainly do not believe she has the right to just do whatever she thinks she wants to do, just because she has a pen!! I also don’t think having the citizens of Palestine pay for her decision through over payments in their water bill Is fair OR legal! You are infringing on the religious rights and beliefs of many citizens in this city, I do not believe in gay marriage. Nor do I believe I or any others believing the same way, should be FORCED to pay for something they do not believe is moral or right in their Christian beliefs. If you read the Bible, you’ll see it’s considered an abomination in God’s eyes, therefore you are FORCING Christians to participate INVOLUNTARILY in an act that goes against their beliefs. Now, if it’s fair for other religions to have their rights NOT be infringed upon, then it is fair for mine as well!

  6. This is just wrong on so many levels. If they want to be gay, fine. But I should not be forced to pay for their stuff. I didn’t take them to raise. Wendy needs to move to Los Angeles and leave Palestine alone. As far as tourism goes, the next thing would be the gay rights
    parAde. Jus saying

  7. Abomination to say the Least! To pay for faggots to get married? This will not put Palestine,Texas on The Map! If all else it will cause an uproar! I agree this is illegal & nothing more than being bullied! What a sad place I no longer will call my home town! Indeed we need a petition against this atrocity!

  8. If these were for straight people who were broke there would be no fuss on if you guys are paying your taxes on them. You’d be excited and saying ‘hooray helping people’. The fact that people in Palestine can’t handle they are gay, they throw a fit. Do you realize we are not in the 1980’s? There is a time for change and that change is now. Helping people is still helping people. Not only that it’s easier to get married if it’s to a man and woman. Give them some wiggle room.

    You guys still go to church with people with pastors that sleep with women even though they are married, but you help pay their fees. (Granted not all the churches are like this.) Some of you don’t even go to church to cleanse your soul. You go to church just look good for God and other around you. No one here has the right to call anyone a ‘faggot’ or ‘homo’, those are dirty terms and you know it. You are all adults and should act like it. You guys strike down other people before looking at yourself to realize there are problems that you need to fix first.

    I think this is a fantastic idea and is helping to get their foot in the door.

  9. I DON’T CARE IF THEY GAY STRAIGHT OR WHATEVER!!!!!!!! I ‘M HAVING TROUBLE PAYING MY WATER BILL WITHOUT AN EXTRA FEE AND .EXTRA OVERAGE CHARGES. SO IF YOU WHATEVER PAY TO LAY. PAY WHERE YOU LAY OR WHO YOU WANT TO LAY DOWN WITH. I’M NOT LAYING SO WHY DO I PAY.

  10. Being a member of the GLBT community, the thought of my hometown opening the way for myself and those like me to marry is a fantastic idea in my mind. It makes me smile knowing that someone thinks like this and wants to help further this.

    That said, I have three problems with this:

    1. Charging others for something like this is preposterous. Water bill to have a new fee? I’m sorry, but what kind of governing is this? No talk, no vote, just move it on in and let others suffer unwanted costs? No, I don’t agree. As much as the thought of equal rights in marriage for all thrills me, this isn’t the way to do it. Don’t say you’re doing something for me and then paint a target on my back for the effort.

    2. Much as I hate to admit it, government is meant to work for the people. If you want to change it, then follow the proper channels. Don’t just decide to do something on a whim thinking that someone won’t be in an uproar. Bypassing the law only makes it harder for matters like these to be resolved and advanced. On an issue like this, which SHOULDN’T BE AS BIG A FUSS AS IT IS, you’re asking for someone to destroy all that work in one fell swoop by following the rules. That’s all it would take. You can already see the hate and displeasure (putting that lighly) over this and wow… so no. Same line as before, don’t put a target on our backs because you decided on your own.

    3. This whole stance of “the Bible says it’s wrong” is tired and has been repeated over and again. Not one word in that book is taken in context with the time it was written. “Thou shalt not lie with a man as you do with a woman.” Women were not people into themselves, they were property. This is explained with a few seconds of common sense, a trait so rare nowadays that it might as well be a superpower. With all the writings in the Bible, mass murder, death, rape, and other activities that more than cross the “moral line”, don’t come to me with a message like that. Your “Holy Anger” smells more like a pitiful attempt to pick a fight with the newest target, distracting from real issues that deserve our attention. So Congrats, I can’t marry the one I love, but our teachers still make next to nothing. Police can’t deal with real issues and hold criminals of exceptional notoriety. Yes, well done. Good show on trying to take the initiative. You all sicken me and I can’t believe we happen to share a species.

    And that, as they say, is that.

  11. Yall are hick billy ignorant fucks! It’s people like you that have bullied gays like myself to the point of feeling suicidal!! Now I was going to side with most and day I don’t believe yall should have to pay… but you hateful fucks enjoy paying for my wedding I’ll take every fucking dime… call it back pay for all the torment you pieces of shit have bestowed on me and people alike throughout the years. Yall do owe us because you have treated us like dirt. Well guess what we are rising and we aren’t going anywhere…. the supreme court will decide in June…it’s coming the faggots you speak of will have legal right in texas and all over the u.s. especially considering 70 percent of the country has already legalized it.. you prejudice losers are just going to have to accept it… haha we win.

  12. Those of you commenting as if this is an actual true story make me feel like Einstein. READ the story !!! Derrrrrrrrrrr……

  13. With all the traffic and comments why is there no advertising on this? You are missing out on some advertising $$$ and businesses are missing out on exposure!

  14. For Steven :
    sat·ire
    ˈsaˌtī(ə)r/
    noun
    the use of humor, irony, exaggeration, or ridicule to expose and criticize people’s stupidity or vices, particularly in the context of contemporary politics and other topical issues.

    Signed,
    Ignorant Hillbilly

  15. Ditto, Mike. I feel like a genius after reading these comments from these backwoods, ignorant hicks. Love my hometown, but glad I don’t live there anymore.

  16. Oh, the story itself is completely nonsense. This wouldn’t stand up five seconds in the planning stages alone, but some let themselves get carried away with the emotional response. Fact is though, real or not, the anger is most certainly not a fiction. The problem with even a falsified, satirical news article: people can be and are angered by it due to the topics chosen and such. The hatred doesn’t stop just because it isn’t real.

    Maybe not the best place to take a moral stance, I’ll grant you, but I’ve seen politicians do worse and live. Striking out in anger, though, especially over the plainly fabricated article? Don’t bring us all down, guys. I still have to live here after you get tired of lynching and go home.

    And for those of you who had nothing better than to point out others failing to notice this was fake? Grow up. This schoolyard nonsense of ‘I’m smarter than that asshat.’ deserves to be left in Kindergarten, along with that self-imposed intelligence you heap upon yourself.

  17. It actually takes NO intelligence to see that the stories are fake. The idiots that are responding with hate and anger are just that—-idiots. My few lines were in response to the hate spewed by both sides in response to a fake article. Me taking one minute to point out their idiocy is easy. It is not heaping any self-imposed intelligence on myself by pointing out something that a 3rd grader should understand. O.K…..maybe it makes me seem as smart as a 5th grader ???

    In your first response I do not see anywhere where you acknowledge that the story is false. You respond with a 600 word essay about how this proposal and the results of it are not what you think will work and spend a few hundred words lecturing about Biblical matters. I think you are the one with nothing better to do. Myself, I am retired and like running around the internet in my spare time, which I have plenty of.

  18. Divorce is also a sin in the Bible and I know plenty of straight folks who are divorced. I’m not gay I’m just sick of people messing with others because they see things different. But as far has I have to pay for the weddings I think not that is going way to far!!!! Impeach that Women she needs to go!!!!!!

  19. Y’all are some dumb mother-fucks if you can’t read a damn web page and see if it’s a fucking satire on your own town. And to the people complaining about the website for “making shit up”, read a fucking dictionary and find out what satire is.

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