PALESTINE, TX–In a 6-1 decision, the Palestine City Council voted to wait on the next full moon before deciding the fate of City Manager Wendy Ellis.
In a motion made by District 1 Councilman Adam Harding, council approved the measure to determine if Ellis will change into a werewolf during a full moon.
“I’ve heard complaints from city staff and I think it’s important that we make certain, by waiting on a full moon, that Wendy is actually as bad as [employees] claim she is,” said Harding after the meeting.
“The moon just wasn’t at the right phase tonight. The next full moon will be in July, also known as the ‘Thunder Moon,’ Harding said with a smile like that of an eager child.
District 5 Councilman Doug Smith agreed with Harding and said waiting is of the utmost importance.
“I think it’s important that we make sure we are doing the right thing,” Smith explained. “I really think that Wendy is salvageable, but then again maybe we should have fired her. No, no, we can wait on the full moon. If we fire her though, it’ll all be over. So yes, I am for firing her immediately.”
In a press conference immediately after the meeting, Mayor Bob Herrington was confident that Ellis would make the turn during a full moon, but still felt that firing her tonight was the right thing to do.
“Look, it’s time,” Herrington said. “We can wait on a full moon all we want. I’m already seeing a couple of hairs sprouting from her chin now and it’s barely a half-moon. You want to talk about hair, check this out,” Herrington shouted while pointing at his own head.
City employees seemed shattered by the news. One employee who asked to not be identified said, “It’ll be July before that full moon which means I have to avoid contact with Wendy or else just a scratch could cause me to also become a werewolf. Councilman Smith just told me he wants to fire her right now, but he can’t get other council members to reconvene the closed session.”