PALESTINE, TX–Parents were elated and unconcerned, to the point of encouragement, that the new Cici’s that opened this week was also a front for a drug dealer who recently relocated to the Palestine area.
Aladino Manfrin said he had noticed parents disappointment with the Cici’s Pizza location that had closed in Palestine and, needing a place to produce and sell methamphetamines that wouldn’t attract the attention of police, decided to open a new Cici’s location to work as a front for his drug business.
“You know, it’s hard,” Manfrin said, “And when you’re in the business I’m in, you have to be able to conduct that business without the pigs noticing. That’s what this Cici’s allows me to do and we make the quality drugs right on site.” After his attorney whispered in his ear, Manfrin added, “Oh yeah, we make pizza too. Maybe some pasta and a salad, we have a salad bar.”
Manfrin said that he is uncertain what health effects making methamphetamines so close to pizza could be, but parents seemed unconcerned.
“Oh my God,” Linda Rocha, the mother of a five year old boy screamed in the lobby, “We have waited for this place to reopen and to reopen with a brand new modern location is even better. We’ve been here four times and only once has my son shown signs of possible cross contamination with the meth, so I’d say that’s pretty good odds.”
Rocha said her son was paranoid and up for over 24-hours before the symptoms passed.
“It was just like we’d let him drink too much caffeine so it really wasn’t that big of a deal,” Rocha explained. “They may need to sell the drugs to help pay some bills to stay open, so I think it’s a necessary evil.”
Other parents said they can look past the meth lab situated about ten feet from the pizza oven as long as their children can have a pizza birthday party.
“There’s games, television and the birthday party we had there was exciting,” Annie Reich said, “You would have never known there was drugs being made in the kitchen.”
Manfrin said that certain menu items may result in you being approached to buy narcotics, but cautioned parents to be calm and simply refuse the drugs if you didn’t intend to order them.
“I’d hope someone ordering a ‘Large Pepperoni with a scoop of ice cream on top’ would know what they ordered, but you never know,” Manfrin said with a laugh before adding, “Police are not welcome in our store.”