Chili’s Says ‘Misspoke’ When Announcing Palestine Location; ‘Wouldn’t Be Caught Dead in that Town’
PALESTINE, TX—It hasn’t been a good week for restaurants in Palestine, even those that aren’t here yet.
Chili’s, who before announced they would be building a new restaurant in Palestine, now says they made the announcement in error.
“We simply misspoke,” Director of Texas Operations for Chili’s Bar & Grill Brandon Powell told The Dogwood Tale. “I mean, people should have known from the start the it was a mistake. Why would we put a store in Palestine, Texas? We gave it some thought and all we did was call city hall and ask some questions and next thing we know, ‘Chili’s is coming to Palestine.’ These people are nuts!”
Powell said the issue isn’t that they don’t want to expand, but that they really feel that Palestine isn’t deserving.
“The town and it’s people are just not the caliber of people we seek out for customers. We prefer sophisticated and intelligent people to patronize our restaurants and Palestine is far from that and is more of a cesspool filled with people who feel entitled. We were also given a substantial amount of money by, what I think Palestine calls the ‘old money people’ to not locate there. To be honest, we wouldn’t be caught dead in that town.”
Powell pointed to recent elections as an example of the stupidity that “exemplifies the typical Palestine citizen.”
“Thousands of people are registered to vote and in the last city election, maybe 500 voted. That’s shameful. This town is just not suited for such a fine establishment such as Chili’s Bar & Grill. They’ll all sign an online petition for a Chic-fil-a though,” Powell said while laughing.
Steve Presley, District 6 Councilmember, was pleased by the clarification.
“This town is old money, always has been and always will be, and we don’t have a place for a business such as Chili’s,” Presley said. “We have to keep the common people down and new business like this wouldn’t be conducive to those efforts.”