Home Palestine Chick-fil-A Announces Palestine Location in Response to Petition
Chick-fil-A Announces Palestine Location in Response to Petition

Chick-fil-A Announces Palestine Location in Response to Petition

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PALESTINE, TX–Chick-fil-A announced plans to build a new restaurant in Palestine to be in the parking lot of the Palestine Mall on Friday.  Also announced was the new restaurant would be one of the company’s largest in the country.

“We chose Palestine because of the petition that circulated demanding we come there,” a Chick-fil-A official said.  “After determining that we were interested in building in Palestine, we then did our usual research to include determining the number of homosexuals who live in the county.  Since the supreme court legalized gay marriage, we checked with the Anderson County Clerk’s office and found that very few marriage licenses had been issued to same sex couples and this made Palestine a prime candidate for a store.”

The Chick-fil-A official said that the Palestine site would be one of the country’s largest stores in the country.

“That’s the least we can do for such a ‘no gay’ community,” the official said.  “It also helped that we were contacted by Keanu, the Lemur, who said he would enjoy our excellent food to be served in his community.  Maybe, with a place he likes to eat, he’ll stop eating people.  Keanu also indicated to us that he is a straight Lemur and that sex with a male Lemur ‘disgusts’ him.”

According to the Chick-fil-A official, Palestine City Manager Wendy Ellis has agreed to keep, front and center on the council desk, a 44-oz drink with the Chick-fil-A logo visible, at all council meetings as free advertisement.

“We really love Wendy,” the official said.  “What a beau…lov…well, nice lady.”

The new Chick-fil-A is scheduled to open in mid-February.

(8516)

Comment(59)

  1. Probably because its more cost efficient to build a new one . Just like CVS did. Plumbing problems , electric problems etc, etc. plus they can design to fit their preference

  2. Dude is just a sarcastic little kid with a big head that has nothing more to do with his time than to stir the shit pot. I guess since he owns a couple pages on Facebook (who doesn’t?) and works at the prison he thinks he’s somebody. Or maybe he’s still butt hurt because he didn’t make city council? Who knows.

    1. It’s a bit flawed but it is your opinion. My favorite part was about the prison. Who on earth would be proud of that and think they’re someone for working there? Just funny. Keep it up, I’m dying over here.

    2. And? That is irrelevant to why I run this website. It’s just a stupid comment intended to insult or make some point I missed. Anyway, you were good for a good laugh, but we’ve spent too much time in life together. Have fun!

    3. lol and there it is. I’ll be deleted now. You have that “prison guard” mentality. You have power when you’re inside those gates. But no respect outside the gates and you have to find something to make up for it. Your mighty finger can ban anyone from your site and you love it. That’s what I’m talking about. You can have your opinion and talk all this shit about people and put it out for anyone to see but when someone does it to you you ban them and talk shit about them. After you’ve banned them. When they don’t have a chance to defend themselves. Please don’t sue me. I don’t have anything you would want.

    4. You’re reaching. I worked there for three years. Just didn’t want to make a career out of it. Are your “lawyers” that you speak of by any chance locked up out there were you work? Writ writers? I don’t guess it matters where your counsel comes from just as long as you you get your bluff across huh?

    5. Erika Hopper You should become a member of for sale in Anderson county and see how over compensating he is. The damn prison doesn’t even have as many rules you have to follow. He’s a nobody when he’s not at work and he’s trying to make up for it. He’s mad because he didn’t get elect to city council and he gets off on causing drama within. And I think he voted for obama. Both times! (This is satire. So you can’t sue me). And why are we having this discussion in my replies? Why not on the page where I made the original comment? Afraid too many people would agree?

    6. I will warn you, you can’t be acting like this on fsac though. Be sure to block FSAC Bot so you don’t see the dogwood tale stories. That’ll save you a ton of heart ache.

    1. He can’t. No one can. They have to have it so they can be mad (or state an opinion) so they can pretend everything is great when in reality this city is facing a financial crisis. But let’s ignore that and worry about Facebook.

    1. Why don’t you actually do something productive instead of this bullshit? If you’re sooooooooo concerned about Palestine and it’s financial ruin get off your ass and do something about it. That Jade Helm crap you posted was the last straw for me. You really upset an older friend of mine. Shame on you! Who are you anyway…besides a coward?

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