PALESTINE, TX—Greg Taylor, Republican incumbent for Anderson County Sheriff, asked the public for their help in a major issue facing his campaign and the response, according to him, was overwhelming.
Taylor appeared before reporters at a press conference this evening and announced he had completed a contest to decide what his Libertarian challenger, Gary Rayford, will be criminally charged with this election cycle.
“A couple of elections ago, we were facing Steve Quick and he was hit with a family violence charge and then last election Welch ran over a raccoon, but we can’t really take credit for that one, we didn’t make him run over the raccoon, but luckily he did,” Taylor began his announcement. “This year, we face an opponent and I was stumped as to what we could set him up for so, as it should be in any democracy, we left it up to the people.”
Taylor went on the describe a contest held over the last week to decide what Rayford would be charged with this election cycle.
“We did a contest, the winner receiving thousands of dollars in prizes, to decide what t0 set Rayford up for,” Sheriff Taylor explained. “Overwhelmingly, contestants wanted to see Ricky Minton beaten up by Rayford and Rayford charged with the assault, but there’s only one catch. They really want to see Minton beaten up more than anything.”
With that, Taylor said that he began accepting volunteers for who would beat down Minton and the response was, again, overwhelming.
“Hundreds of Anderson County residents have lined up to beat down Mr. Minton,” Sheriff Taylor said, “And we’re sorting through them all, each one submitting an essay about why they should be chosen, and we’ll select a winner shortly.”
Taylor said that once a winner is chosen, Minton will be lured to a secluded area in the county, beat down and then forced to say Rayford committed the assault. “I’ll probably get a few kicks in, myself,” the sheriff joked.
“When it’s over, Minton will gladly testify that Rayford beat him down with a Bible and a penal code book,” Sheriff Taylor said while laughing hysterically. The sheriff was obviously referring to Rayford’s recent online video depicting him on the courthouse steps declaring he would run the sheriff’s office with the Bible and a penal code if elected.
The video ad, endorsed by Rayford on his campaign Facebook page, can be seen at the end of this article.