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Anderson County DA Lands New Job

Anderson County DA Lands New Job

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PALESTINE—Anderson County Criminal District Attorney Doug Lowe has announced he has landed a new job. Working part-time at his new employment, Lowe said he would begin full-time employment after he leaves office at the end of this year.

Allyson Mitchell defeated Lowe in the Republican Primary held in March.  With no other opponents, Mitchell will take office at the beginning of 2015.

“I had put in several applications around the Tyler area, you know, I’ve prosecuted a few people around here so I felt it would be better to work outside of Anderson County, and I had a job interview on Wednesday,” Lowe said during an interview with The Dogwood Tale. “On my way to the McDonald’s on Broadway in Tyler for my first interview of the day, I passed the Time Out Gentlemen’s Club and thought I’d give it a try if they were hiring,” Lowe explained.

They were and Lowe began his new job on Friday night.

“I’ll admit, it’s an interesting job and I wasn’t really looking forward to the body wax, but fortunately I already had a pair of high heels which I wore every year in the ‘Walk a Mile in Her Shoes’ event to raise money for the Anderson County Crisis Center,” Lowe said, an event in which he plans to continue to take part.

“I’m not proud of some of the things I’ve had to do since starting my new job, but each table dance earns me anywhere from $20 to $100 and the customers are very generous,” Lowe said. Lowe giggled when he told us, “They hand over more cash as they become more intoxicated throughout the night, and even better, unlike political contributions, this cash isn’t reportable.”

Lowe said he was unsure how long he would stay employed at the night club. “I don’t know how long I’ll stay, but for now the money is good, but it’s much harder work than standing in a courtroom,” Lowe said. “My legs are sore every night, but I work a 12 hour shift and when you drop it like it’s hot enough times, you’re getting a hell of a work out.”

The opportunities continue to flood in for Lowe as Steve Presley, an avid supporter of the Texas State Railroad and Palestine district 6 councilman, has approached Lowe with an idea for an advertising opportunity with the Texas State Railroad. “We’re willing to give Doug an outfit so he can advertise the ride of a lifetime,” Presley said while marking TSRR advertising graffiti on the wall of the Time Out restroom. Lowe seemed optimistic about working with the railroad. “I was really convinced when Steve slipped a $10 bill into my shorts,” Lowe said. “He definitely drives a hard bargain.”

Lowe indicated that he will be working at Time Out on Friday, Saturday and Sunday nights through the end of the year when he will start a full-time schedule.

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Comment(7)

  1. Well it seems a logical transition for Doug since his new customers will be getting off for next to nothing, much like some others did with his plea bargain arrangements. And if this doesn’t work out, we at least know one couple who won’t repo his truck…

  2. Christopher Lowe As the son of the outgoing District Attorney, Doug Lowe, let me just admit how sore my butt is from this satirical wit of…what’s this obscure internet cobweb called? The dogwood tale? Oh so its a reference to the run down piece of crap dogwood trails in Palesteeeeeeeene, Texas. Wow, I feel like I’m reading the Onion, or like if Stephen Colbert himself were writing this original piece. See what they did? They said my Dad, father of two sons who for some reason both got the hell out of the backwards, creationist believing, overtly racist, oversaturated fat culture of East Texas, and who also is raising two adopted daughters at the age of 61, well wow, they are conflating that my dad’s new job will be as a stripper. Wow, that is freaking Molly Ivans quality there. It’s like if Bill Maher suddenly became conservative and just made fart jokes all the time instead of poignant, political diatribes. That’s so original Jon Stewart is gonna be offering…who’s the author? Kaye Nest…wow she’s gonna be a correspondent on the Daily Show in no time. She can be the go to “back country, 3rd place Tyler Rose Queen, not quite Dallas Cheer leader material so gotta freelance in Palesteeene, Texas” expert. I mean look at that photoshop work, Jeez, I don’t think Stephen Hawkins could have clicked a mouse better. Man, this is definitely satire worthy of the people of Paleeeeeeeestine, Texas. Yep that’s Palesteeeeene, Texas, cause we’d say we’re retarded but that would be underestimating the intelligence of retarded people. Man I can’t wait til I can come visit Palestine in August so all the people who said they enjoyed this Swiftian piece of literature can say it right to my face! Yep stand up folks in Texas, #1 in state executions and repeat teenage pregnancies. Go “Gig ’em” yourselves!

    1. i guess now that he isn’t district attorney we find out how he and his family really feel about the citizens. go gig this: i loved it and when you get to texas let me know so i can tell you so. funny thing is i like doug too i just think you’re taking this way too seriously

      1. Alas, with actual satire the point is often missed. My above was responding to the article in kind, by not taking it seriously and responding with my own jabs. Don’t dish it if you can’t take it, right? I mean, it’s a local Palestine website, 10 people are gonna read this, half the people i’m probably kin with. How could I take this seriously?

        I think the only large offense to me was that someone was actually trying to pass this article off as satire. Satire is subliminal and cutting, this is a little off the ground from Gallagher smashing a watermelon.

        But alas, Deb, relation does not equal correlation, that would make Dick Cheney a lesbian. My father does actually indeed love Palestine and Texas, hence why he served as DA for so long. So when we are having that face to face in August, I will again clarify, I’m the one who’s not the biggest fan of Palestine, Texas. And no I definitely do not take Palestine politics too seriously. I do find bad comedy to leave quite the bad taste in the mouth, however.

        1. I voted for Doug and am a big supporter but I found this to be funny but maybe a little edgy but funny. I don’t even know that Doug would be mad I mean every time you see him he has a smile on his face and seems to have a good sense of humor so I don’t know what’s his opinion of it. That’s what matters and even then it’s just a joke. I guess I’m just not as thin skinned

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