Home Anderson County All Aboard the Bipolar Express!
All Aboard the Bipolar Express!

All Aboard the Bipolar Express!

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PALESTINE—The Texas State Railroad (TSRR) has announced plans to add the “Bipolar Express” to its schedule of excursions according to a press release from their marketing department, but exact dates and times are yet to be determined. The single page release explains the reasons for the new idea, stating medical science tells us about 2.6% of the U.S. population is affected by the mental disorder which translates into a huge untapped market for local tourism. Playing off the famous movie line “if you build it they will come”, TSRR says the hope is, “If we treat them, they will ride”.

The TSRR says it is in negotiations with a local pharmacist to supply select drugs to a potential market of eight million three hundred twenty thousand passengers, however, medications are not subject to sales tax so while area residents might expect a windfall in local sales tax revenues, TSRR says sales taxes would be limited to the cost of a ticket, but cautioned a large number of tickets might be donated as part of the contractual agreement with the pharmacist which could result in little or no sales tax dollars at all. “We appreciate the amount of local support, financial backing and free advertising we get from both Palestine and Rusk and we try to promote events that will bring needed revenue not only to TSRR but to both cities”, the document reads, “but, in this case, it’s not about the money, it’s about helping people”.

Those affected with bipolar disorder exhibit a wide range of abnormalities ranging from depression, to anxiety and excitability, and can sometimes exhibit excessive sexual or spending habits, grandiose ideas or plans, and may experience feelings of being “chosen”, like they have been selected for a special mission. Coincidentally, about 2.6% of the U.S. population occupies important government positions across the country.

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Harold Press Harold Press is always searching for the next story. Just the facts ma'am, just the facts, or whatever you can make up!

Comment(1)

  1. This actually opens up a whole world of possibilities! Perhaps the TSSR might consider marketing to those with multiple personalities. The revenue derived from selling several tickets to the same individual(s) would more than compensate for the sales tax lost due to the contractural agreement struck with the pharmicist for the Bipolar excursions. The ad campaign could kick off with the classic tune “Who are you?” as the theme.

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